I don’t ever look at forwarded emails, but this week they came from 2 people who never send them out, so they had to be good… the first one was about the teeth and then I got this one from my buddy Drew yesterday…
Big Dept Store
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one they made at that time, a ½ horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used this repair dept since.
My daughter and I went through the Fast Food take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, ‘We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at fast food restaurants.
I work for the city of xxxxxx , XX. We recently had a taxpayer call the city's Traffic Dept. to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on the Highway .
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
Big City Mall
My daughter went to the mall food court and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal' lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
Big City Airport
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Small Town Anywhere
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
Small Town Office
This happened at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun! We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
Big City Office
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
Big City Auto Dealership
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
They walk among us!
Now,don't you feel better about yourself? Have a wonderful day!!!!!
On a personal note: I was in a cheap haircuts store a couple years ago and the lady cutting my hair asked me when my last haircut was. I told her ‘2 months ago’, she replied, ‘oh goodness, you should get your hair cut at least every 8 weeks”… uh… ok.