pug coup...

We have taken over the campsite. Rizzo is dictating and I am typing now. We were able to take down the giant as he was bending over to chop some wood. I stood behind him and Rizzo shoved him and he toppled like jenga. We now have him and his female locked in the back seat of the truck, but we like the little one so he is with us now. He feeds us food from the tall seat so we are feeding him right now.

We will let the giant and his female go when the following demands are met.

1. No more crappy harnesses, we won't be humiliated like this.
2. Rizzo wants to change her name to "yellallyouwant"
3. I want to change my name to "eatallyouwant"
4. I want meat and cheese, lots of it.
5. We are to never be tethered again.
6. Where the Giant goes, we go.
7. Licking each others ears clean is an acceptable bedtime practice, no matter how noisy or gross.
8. 3 words, clean sheets daily!
9. The cat is to never drink from the same bowl as us.
10. We sleep where ever we want, no gates, no cages.
11. We sleep whenever we want. (uh, ok that one is already compliant.)
12. If I want to stand and sniff something for 3 friggin days, you will wait until I am done, you will NEVER tug on the leash again.
13. 3 words, doggy doors everywhere.

If these demands aren't met withing 48 hours, the Giant an his female will have to sleep in the fold a crate and be smacked in the butt repeatedly for no apparent reason. We will contact you in 48 hours.

r-dog out.